I am becoming something more. I do not know what His plan is, but I feel Him working inside of me. My heart can now feel. Unlike the emotional disconnect that used to give me some ounce of comfort, this inability to shut off is difficult, and it comes with a responsibility. Feeling is not a weakness, it is about becoming more passionate. There are things that I want, and I am willing to wait for, or fight for. If He tells me to step forward I hope I leap. Patience has been a hard lesson to learn, for the battle against self never ends. Tomorrow will be anxious for itself, why do I need to be?

So, this week, wow. God has given me opportunities to grow in Him, and for that I thank him.
I had midterms for my world literature class. . .bleh but it went pretty good. Then I found out today that my aunt has a tumor in her liver. . and they don't think she is going to last very long. It has hit me pretty hard, but it helped me realize something. We must maximize the time that we have. There are people that we need to love on and pour into, there are opportunities for so many things, and so often I let them slip by without even thinking about it. When it comes time for me, I want to know I did all I could through Him. Anyhoo in the midst of all this I wrote some songs, they aren't done but here are the lyrics for them.

I stand alone,
staring darkness in the face,
I can feel it there,
in the empty space,

The boatman's call,
it is in my heart,
I can feel it echo there,
in the empty part,

I know love will find me,
in the sweet, sweet sunrise,
but to find it there,
I'll have to open up my eyes

My sight grows cold,
learning how to see,
There are no more colors here,
only you and me.

I know love will find me,
in the sweet, sweet sunrise,
but to find it there,
i'll have to open up my eyes.

Song number 2

Take a picture
And stay a while
A thousand words
It says so much

Hold the moment
And breath it in
Keep it close,
It’s gone again

Live to love
For God above
And don’t forget
He’s right here

I hear Him call my name
I hear Him call my name
Don’t be scared
For He’s right there,
He’s holding all the weight,
I’m going home today
I'm going home today

Randomness

I was looking up a word in the concordance of my bible, and I words that began with "e" started hitting me. .so I wrote this little dilly and I don't know if makes any sense to anyone but me. . but here goes:

As I eloquently embrace the empowerment given to me, I realize the empty end I would be caught in without you Lord. Your encouragement enables me to endure earnestly within your mighty power. The enemies that enslaved my soul are exposed as you enlighten me with your eternal exhaltation. Entertaining the thought of giving my life to you, while enticed by your spirit, the envy of a godly love consumed me, leaving me only with the option of entrusting my heart eternally to yours. There is no equal that can equip me with an escape from sin while establishing an everlasting joy and love to be an example to others. I exist only in expectation of the return of you, Lord, encompassed in eternal glory.

No more camp? What?

This week has been interesting. I had to leave pine cove early, definitely against my own will. It was really difficult leaving. I have gotten to know some amazing people while at camp. I just hope the Lord will call me to go back next year. Classes started yesterday, and they are awesome. I am taking intercultural communications and world lit. The objectives of both professors are very similar, making it easy to be in the correct mindset for class. The comm class is definitely a junior level course... me just transfering in.... I hope it is not over my head. They class and material seem easy enough, but the prof hasn't given any notion of what we are supposed to study or look for.. This is my first blog. . kind of odd talking to nobody.. anyhoo, I am excited for this weekend!! Back to pine cove for a night, then back to school.. poopy I know, but what can I do? Sidenote- I just learned ruin me by jeff johnson and I am way excited about it.